What a Way to Go: Network

Good day:
I am new to the forum. I purchased the film when it first came out.
Wow, talk about a mind blowing experience. I kept repeating over and over: That's me. that is exactly what is in my head".
I am 52, a farm wife. My husband is a farmer and a carpenter. We do not
crop farm. We raise beef cattle.
We have one daughter who is 30. I can not speak of any of the four horsemen to her.
She says I am becoming the most negative person that she has ever met, so I keep my mouth shut and talk about uplifting stuff when I am with her.
One of my girlfriends tells me that I have become the most critical person that she knows, so I don't discuss it with her any longer.
By critical she means that I critique everything, not that I criticize others.
How am I to respond when people call me negative? I see the world falling apart around me.
I am a cancer survivor, (four years out) and have been seeing a counselor
since my diagnosis.
When I try to tell my counselor about my fears for the future, he tells me
that I need to stop dwelling on it. I should ignore it and not think about it at all since I can't do anything to stop it or change it.
I am confused and saddened. I feel like an outsider, a weirdo, whatever.
I do not just see things from an economic point of view.
As farmers we see things from an agriculture point of view. We are heading for such a calamity (perfect word) that I have a hard time putting it in words.
I post on a peak oil web-site, and on that site I call myself, Pheba from the farm. Actually I have a new name there, PhebaandthePilgrim.
My husband is the Pilgrim.
If you are interested in reading about some of the difficulties in farming
please visit the site and look at some of my old postings.
There are other things.
Bugs on the windshield on a hot summer night driving down a country road. I remember how thick they used to be. There are very few bugs now.
Where are the bugs?
I remember the sound of bees in a clover pasture on a warm summer day.
The constant buzzing that was a part of summer is gone. The bees are gone here.
Where are the bees.
Fertilizer prices have risen so high that we can't afford to fertilize our ground for hay for our cattle.
We can no longer afford to buy corn to feed the cattle. We raised organic beef, but we can no longer afford to raise for anybody but ourself.
This is insane.
Am I negative? I sure wasn't negative when I survived cancer. I wasn't negative when I was able to get lupus in full remission.
I wasn't negative when I was able to help my daughter achieve remission with the same disease.
Why are one out of 9 American women showing up with a full blown auto-immune disease? The above figure does not even include fibromyalgia.
It is thought that one in 4 women has fibromyalgia.
Tim and Sally hit the nail on the head with their thought provoking prose in the film.
What do I tell people who tell me; "You are so negative"?
Pheba.